5th March 2011

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Man, I can’t believe it. I got into the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Design Master of City Planning program on Thursday! I’m still excited about the news, but I’m most excited about my family and friends helping me stay sane during this process. I’ve been a stressed out bundle of nerves for the past six months or so— studying for the GRE, getting recommendations, editing and re-editing my application essays. But hardest of all was waiting for the decisions.

I don’t think many people knew this, but for a couple of weeks before I got the email, I was completely on edge. I’d stay up at night obsessing over my application and worrying that I didn’t say enough in my essay, or that at 750 words, it was way over the 600-word limit. I played all the games that a person can play inside of their own head, even though I knew I was qualified; even though I knew that it was unproductive. I lost a lot of sleep and probably ruffled a few feathers not answering to emails, not hanging out and being generally withdrawn from all but a few friends. I was in a really, really tough place for that time. But funnily enough, I was in the middle of an abnormally stressful day at work when I got an email from the head of the department. All of my anxieties and stress came out like a sudden release of catharsis— in the form of a scream that I’m sure was heard all the way down Bedford Ave. I think it was the proudest I’ve ever felt of myself, and now that I look back, I was really happy that I heard the news on a Thursday morning at egg surrounded by people who have been watching me sulk, listening to me kvetch and helping me stay sane. The hugs and hugs and hugs I got made me feel enveloped by so much love— which immediately turned my elation into the realization that I’ll probably be leaving Brooklyn. That part’s still a little tough to process, so I’m doing my best not to get emotional about that until a few months from now.

I just feel so lucky to have lived a life where I’ve been given so many opportunities, and where I have built a community of people who are wonderful and smart and funny and who I know have my back no matter what. When I think about it, it’s almost too much to bear. 

  1. juellasaurus posted this